I think Sven not forget me. After the 360 degrees on London Eye I think there is more. I never been invited to something so romantic sounding as launch of male moisturiser. It put our Mr Spock Convention in Tallin Travel Lodge far in perspective.
I not know what to wear. But I borrow nice dress from Sophie and we cover ‘Piss Off Morons’ with lacy bit. She want to put make-up on me but I say I do not want to look like Siouxie Banshie with punched in face. I let Fay do me little bit glitter make-up as she just finished making of Christmas cards and some glitter is remaining.
My friend Kaja would not believe hotel. It so posh, designed by Philip Starkers. Celebrities like Gwyneth Paltry and Kate Moss is just popping in way we do to nasty shop in garage. Is not like hotel we know where you buys gonks in Estonia national costume and is sent straight to room to watch Emmanuelle 45. No, is lots of marble blocks what change colour and if people serving they looks like models, what do the models look like?
I go through door. Is big dark room and there is spacey music that cool people need for their talking. I see people but not anyone I know. Girl give me bag with male moisturiser. I given drink and I drink quick (bad idea). Then I see photographers is flashing. It is Sven. Kaja, he is in LOVELY white suit and MORE tanning than ever. You see male moisturiser work on him perfect. They all clapping, especially the ones what has spent years of their lives making this moisturiser. Sven he look embarrassed but is shyness nice. They is lots of women (models) around him. I green. Is good they cannot see my jealous colour.
Sven he see me and come over. We is like both ends of magnet ends and is gentle kiss (dark but lots of people looking). But he say there is another something else big he must tell me. Before he say there is thirty foot plasma screen comes down and he is taken away by more women who need him to do his business.
They showing his TV advertisement. Is Sven as handsome space explorer. He go to Mars (exclamation mark) but because he use Vanquish 7 his skin perfect, even in asteroid attacks. When he land there is Martian women who won’t wear bras and they want to check his perfect skin (and other things). We all claps.
I think Sven has gone to real Mars. I not see him anywhere. Then I see the Cressida. I see way she look at him, like she knows things deep inside Sven, like she is dentist of his heart. Then there is model girls with him. Their eyes is towards me and I hear some words they say: ‘short’, ‘funny hair’, ‘horrible dress’, ‘looks like a fairy doll that went wrong’. They think I not hear but I does. They laughing at me, Kaja, laughing at me.
I take another drink (very bad idea). Man come to me and ask if I enjoying myself. I no reply. He say is product manager and is one of fastest growing areas of beauty business. Is men now worrying as well as women. It not surprising, he say, that Sven off to New York for six months for promoting Vanquish in North American market. I say what? He say is their biggest market – UK is only blip. Brad Pitt he only come to London so he visit the Harrods. Then Sven he finally appear. He touch my shoulder. He say he sorry, he have no choice: it part of his contract, but it only six months. That is big thing he was wanting to tell me. Then there is newspaper person who needs him and he go off.
All I want is leaving room. I go past marble blocks, people who is thinking they is models doesn’t even look at me. There is people smoking outside. I stands and waits. I thinking Sven will see me gone and do a chase after me. He will do apologies and say nice things about my dress and personality. But it is ten minutes and it is cold. I wait and he not come. I get London taxi. It cost all my week’s money. Still I don’t have enough and must get out at Finsbury Park.
When I pass underground station, I seeing Mrs Awale and Ahmed. They stand beside big suitcase and black rubbish bags. She say Cressida sack her because of the pants.Then they been told to leave flat. We is taking their luggage up Crouch Hill. I tell them I going back to Estonia and I give them my room. They too tired to argue. I has nowhere else to sleep. I in tree house with Maureen the Guinea Pig. What Fay say is true.
Now I see – mans like Sven never love dwarfy girl. Maybe only mans like Arvo Pitkin is marrying girl like me and my mother right to see future for us on all fridges in Estonia. I think of Café Flamingo and how Vladislav nice to me when I cry because manager call me toxic dwarf for few plates dropped. I had enough – I going back to Estonia.
