Have been told I can't go to Disneyland

Fay’s Diary

14 January

Dear Diary

Have been told I can’t go to Disneyland with the rest of the class because we can’t afford it. I suppose I will have to sit with the school secretary so that everyone knows how poor we are. I will have to follow her around the school cleaning up everyone’s sick instead. I have an idea but I will not be telling anyone at the moment. It is Top Secret.



Tom, I did explain that searching for a new job is a career in itself. We need you sitting at your desk, going through the newspapers and sending off applications. And it might help your self esteem if you weren’t sitting there in pyjama tops like one of those tubercular characters in a D.H.Lawrence novel.

Please check Maureen is OK. She was making a strange squeaking noise when I left. Under no circumstances will there be a replacement or a repetition of the Gilda the Goldfish I – XIII scenario. If she is, er, going on a journey from which no traveller returns we can use it to introduce the children to the death concept as sensitively as possible.

Tom, remove Maureen’s bowl of Cornflakes. I don’t want anyone to think we poisoned her. God, I’m supposed to be in a meeting today with high-powered international clients, not worrying about a guinea pig’s nutritional requirements.

Bella