We currently have expenditure equivalent to Donald Trump's.

Monika

Make mental note of these instructions. We currently have expenditure equivalent to Donald Trump’s but an income that makes the Tailor of Gloucester look like a big lottery winner. Please:
Turn thermostat down to 55 F. People will just have to wear more clothes or, in Tom’s case, some clothes, and not go round wearing pyjamas as if Paris Hilton in a sauna.

Own brand products in supermarket. These are much cheaper tins and packets with nasty labels that actually say what’s inside them e.g. beans and sausages, and don’t suggest that by paying fifty pence more we will have a Tuscan lifestyle. Bargain bins in supermarket. Usually surrounded by old people but please avoid pilchards in tomato sauce.

Lunch boxes. Wholemeal sandwiches or nothing.

Maureen. Stop expensive Scientific Diet immediately – was perfectly happy on Cornflakes and occasional carrot. Under no circumstances to be taken to vet again and told she has neurasthenic condition that requires an intravenous drip and expensive treatment. Have heard that PDSA caravan visits Wood Green shopping centre. Maureen can travel.

Shopping catalogues. Re-cycle immediately.

Tumble dryer. Put on slow, economy spin. If people complain about noise all day they can dry clothes in own rooms.

People to wear only one set of clothes a day. Non-negotiable.

Christmas cards. Stop Sophie re-cycling these immediately. Can be re-used as gift labels for next Christmas.

School trip to Paris Disneyland and Eiffel Tower. We will have to tell Mrs Willoughby that Theo and Fay have a fear of French people and heights.

Monika’s wage. Thank you for your patience here, Monika. It was so good of you to let us post-date our last cheque. I’m sure we’ll be able to sort out this little problem fairly soon.

Bella

N.B Please note how I am using the back of Tom’s job rejection letters to write on. There are plenty of these to choose from.